

My wife Ruth is a gifted person there is no doubt. So often Church members and leadership have unfair and unreal expectations of the pastor's wife. I have a definite view on this matter.
Expectations can be an undue hardship that is unnecessary. Here are my expectations of my wife regarding her involvement in the Church.
1. Her primary role is the support of me in my ministry.
2. She is not an unpaid employee.
3. I have no more or fewer expectations of her than I would of any Church member .
4. Her role and involvement are determined by her and her alone.
5. She is gifted and will use these gifts as she feels led to use them in the building up of the Church.
Proverbs 18:22 (Net Bible)
The one who has found a good wife has found what goodness is, and obtained a delightful gift from the LORD. (Net Bible)
If you have ever known a pastor's wife, who was not involved in in her husband's ministry and wondered why? (Not Ruth)
She was hurt, betrayed, or gossiped about or heard the nasty and snide comments made about her husband behind his back. When you attack her husband, you attack her. This caused her not to trust anyone and to be withdrawn and distant. Treat the pastor's wife as the wife of a soldier in deployment that is fighting for you. Sadly, I have seen it many times.
Thankfully, Ruth has encountered little of this, but when she does, I instructed her to call people out on their insensitivity and how it hurts her and their friendship. She is an awesome wife, and God has shown His love for me by giving me a woman beyond measure.